


Life is an Illusion

by Blackat14



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, F/M, Good Parent Grace Hargreeves, Good Sibling Allison Hargreeves, Good Sibling Diego Hargreeves, Good Sibling Klaus Hargreeves, Good Sibling Luther Hargreeves, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug, after suffering, and she gets several, morally grey Five
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:48:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26555368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackat14/pseuds/Blackat14
Summary: All the Hargreeves children knew about Klaus's drug addiction, chasing one high after the next to cope with their shitty upbringing, their personal trauma they suffered at the hands of Reginald Hargreeves, never to be spoken about out loud. They always assumed Klaus would be the first to go, finally drowning in his addiction, (they didn't know he had met both god and the devil, both having rejected him, so he was left with so-called 'close calls', trying, again and again, begging both to finally claim him, but being rejected on the terms of being 'the gatekeeper' whatever the fuck that meant) so they didn't notice the other sibling that had drowned long ago, simply existing as an empty husk haunting the mansion. They didn't notice Vanya had been the one to almost give in to her destructive vices until it was almost too late.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Grace Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Luther Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves, Past Ben Hargreeves/Vanya Hargreeves, Vanya Hargreeves & Everyone
Comments: 10
Kudos: 171





	Life is an Illusion

**Author's Note:**

> So I finished this last night instead of sleeping, but wanted to wait till I had the wonderful Sache-Chan edit this a bit so I wouldn't hurt yall's brain with bad grammar. Go check out her work, she's a wonderful author with never ending promts that make my day *^·^*
> 
> Also, this is an au where Vanya does not have powers, her pills being an experimental drug.
> 
> Please head the tags, this has some heavy topics that might be triggering to some people. I'm adding another trigger warning just in case.
> 
> TW: Mentions of self-harm, Eating disorder not otherwise specified, Depression, brief mention of suicidal thoughts/ideation, Mentioned rape/non-con but does not go into detail.

All the Hargreeves children knew about Klaus's drug addiction, chasing one high after the next to cope with their shitty upbringing, their personal trauma they suffered at the hands of Reginald Hargreeves, never to be spoken about out loud. They always assumed Klaus would be the first to go, finally drowning in his addiction, (they didn't know he had met both god and the devil, both having rejected him, leaving him left with so-called 'close calls', trying, again and again, begging both to finally claim him, but being rejected on the terms of being 'the gatekeeper' whatever the fuck that meant) so they didn't notice the other sibling that had drowned long ago, simply existing as an empty husk haunting the mansion. They didn't notice Vanya had been the one to almost give in to her destructive vices until it was almost too late.

* * *

  
  


When Vanya was fourteen she started eating smaller portions at mealtimes, thankfully grace and pogo had bought "It's my pills, since father upped them I haven't been as hungry." and she only felt semi guilty that she lied a little. It was true her pills put her appetite off, but her _real_ reason was because of Five. Since he left she had no real want to eat, running to the bathroom after meals to empty her stomach, her anxiety, and depression taking over as she felt even more alone. The only food she would keep down dutifully was the peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches she would make, one for her and one for five. She would ignore Reginald's glare, Pogo's sympathetic smile. The Only one she would acknowledge was Grace, as she just smiled at her when she requested more marshmallows and peanut butter, always encouraging the friendship (and whatever it was starting to bloom into, before he left her to drown) and while Vanya knew her mom was a robot, sometimes she thought she cared more about the children than either Reginald or Pogo, giving them small moments of happiness, like when she allowed Luther and Allison to spend twenty extra minutes together after bed-time, or when she gifted Diego a cd player and some cd's from bands like _AC/DC_ , _Guns & Roses, _ and _Metallica_ . She would give Ben any new book series that she would hear him talk about as she made sure all the books were put back correctly in the library, and she would give Klaus some makeup and tips on how to apply it when Reginald was gone for the day or training another sibling. And she always listened to Vanya play, even when she was still learning and everyone else told her to shut-up, Grace would smile at her encouragingly, telling her that practice made perfect and she would be _extraordinary one day._

  
  


The only thing keeping her from losing it completely was Ben. Ben with his concerned glances, tentative hugs, and sneaking into her room at night to cuddle with her as she sobbed into his chest over the fact she lost her _true confidant._ She was glad she had Ben, but he already had his hands full with Klaus and missions, so she tried not to depend on him too much. Despite her best efforts though, she still got attached, and when they both turned fifteen, she was both terrified and excited as Ben's lips met hers in a chaste innocent kiss, more a peck really. She was a little shocked though because she thought Klaus and him had a thing, and as she voiced that to him, he just laughed, not upset at all, before he told her that Diego and Klaus had been hanging out recently and that he always had a crush on her, but with her having Five, he didn’t want to upset her or sabotage his sibling’s chance of happiness. 

She cried that night into his chest for a different reason. 

For the next year, their touches remained innocent, both of them still new to this type of affection, but everyone watched as Ben stopped bringing a book to read at mealtimes, instead he would grip Vanya’s hand beneath the table, a silent encouragement to eat a little more. After training, she would hold Ben, as he told her in secret that his monsters settled in her presence. During free time, they would read to each other in the library, sharing giggles and laughter, exchanging chaste kisses and hugs before going to bed, as later in the night Vanya started sneaking into Ben's room as her bed was getting too small for the both of them.

Then they turned sixteen and everything changed. As Vanya finished helping Ben with his uniform, he leaned down to give her a quick kiss and she told him like always, to stay safe.

_She never saw him again._

At the funeral, after Reginald left, berating them for losing one of their own, she tried to make them feel a little better, but Diego's comment of, “What do you know, Vanya, you weren't there!” had her running away with tears in her eyes, and only once she was locked in her room did she realize she _lost yet another person she loved!_ It was this that broke Vanya, the thought that everyone she would love would leave her, and that it probably was a good thing her other siblings ignored her, and her father hated her existence. 

_‘No wonder he calls me worthless,’_ a cynical voice said as she started drowning in her thoughts ‘ _maybe he knew you would only be a detriment to the academy, maybe you should do something before he does, or has your siblings take care of it, after all, you don’t want them to sully their hands with a waste of worthless space nothing like you, do you?’_ Vanya shook her head, she didn't want her siblings to have to deal with her, but, _but,_ a voice that sounded suspiciously like Ben spoke in the back of her head ‘ _you can’t give up Vanya, please! You can’t join me quite yet, you can survive, just find something to tether you’._

As she listened to the voice, she lifted her head, and as she did her eyes met her reflection in the mirror, seeming to taunt her, and with a burst of anger she shot up from the floor, quickly reaching it, before pulling her arm back and _punching it._ And it wasn’t until grace came in a few minutes later to check on that sound, that she came out of her thoughts, the pain numbing and grounding her more than her pills _ever could._

Vanya made sure to hide a decent size glass shard.

She went back to eating very little, barely able to even stomach the peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches, but she ate it, making sure she wouldn’t fail five in this. She made sure the cuts on her arms were covered and her skirt wouldn’t reveal the cuts on her thighs. Whenever she would get light headed she would force herself to eat the bare minimum, not wanting to draw attention to the empty shell she had become. 

The day they turned eighteen she was the first one out the door, having packed a bag the night before, one of Five’s notebooks and Ben's favorite novel, plus the cash stashed in Ben's room, hidden where only they could find it so Klaus wouldn’t steal it. It was supposed to be for the both of them when they turned eighteen, but she figured Ben would want her to have it. She went to the apartment she had gotten last month, lying about her age to get it. 

And so she began her new life.

She wore baggy clothes to hide the fact she was _skinny,_ wore long shirts that hung over her knuckles, jeans that weren’t too tight aground her thighs, helping keep her warm and safe in the knowledge no one would see her coping mechanism. She almost wrote a book, but stopped when a voice that sounded like five spoke in her head ‘ _They’ll hate you, I’ll hate you! You already abandoned me for Ben!’_ the voice spat the name, and she could almost imagine five standing in front of her, snarling at her for leaving him.

She threw the book in her fireplace. 

She got five new scars instead.

When she was twenty-two, she met a guy who seemed into her, so she decided to give him a chance. When he found out about her scars however, he left her with a parting of: 

“Nice scars _freak_ , I didn’t know you were so desperate for attention that you would do _that_ ”. 

She tried holding out, maybe he was right and she was just trying to get attention. She only lasted two hours before she reached for something sharp.

At twenty-four she seemed to be doing fine, at least to other’s, but Vanya had never felt more hollow, after the disaster two years ago when she tried dating but got _mocked_ , she quit trying to find a relationship, knowing they would either die or belittle her, always _weak, worthless, good-for-nothing number Seven._ Instead, she depended heavily on her knife, on knowing that even if she was going to lunch with her orchestra, she could go to the bathroom, making her feel better about how much she ate.

But what surprised her one night was a loud banging on her apartment door that woke her up, and she panicked at first because no one knew where she lived, so she grabbed her bat she kept behind her bedroom door, before making her way to the door. When she reached it she looked through her peephole, before letting out a sigh as she saw who it was. After she released the deadbolt and unlocked it, opening it, Klaus brushed past her. She took in how red his eyes were, how manic he seemed in his movements, twitching every few seconds before sitting down on her couch like he owned her apartment. She simply sighed again before walking to the kitchen, resting her bat against the counter. Then she went about filling her kettle, getting two mugs to make them both tea as she wouldn’t be going back to bed anytime soon, and as she did she finally addressed Klaus. 

“So, what brings you here? The last time we saw each other was six years ago, oh, did...did something happen to our other siblings? Who is it? Oh god, not another one…”

As Vanya started breaking down in hysterics at the thought _of yet another sibling dying,_ she didn’t hear Klaus approach, never liking to see his siblings upset or in distress. It was only when she was pulled into a surprisingly strong grip, with soothing assurances of ‘no, everyone’s fine, _alive,_ I just needed to see you, baby sister,’ that she calmed down, wiping away her tear tracks and sniffling, before gently pulling out of Klaus’s hug and going to deal with the now whistling kettle, the whole time not meeting his eyes, which he didn’t seem to mind. 

Once both mugs were filled she grabbed them, walking over to the couch and setting them down on the coffee table before sitting down on the couch, Klaus joining her. He reached out, wrapping his around one of his.

“So...uh, the reason I came by was because I had something I wanted to tell you… and Vanya, please believe me when I say this. My powers are communicating with the dead after all.”

She nodded at him, a bit confused as to where this was going. 

“Since the funeral, Ben has been following me. It wasn’t until recently however that he finally told me of your relationship, reluctantly may I add, and I wanted to come and apologize for...for never being there when I should have.”

Vanya sat on the couch, the shock making her itch for something sharp or to run to the bathroom and empty her stomach of the meager dinner she was able to eat for once.

Instead, she took a deep breath, disentangled her hand from Klaus’s, and reached for her cup, gulping down half her tea, the burn shaking her from shock, (she made sure to take note to buy a lighter to explore this type of pain later) and turned so she was facing Klaus, searching his face for a _hint_ of a lie or scam, upon finding none she was a little hopeful, but she also knew her siblings would make fun of her and would use Ben to do so, so she told him.

“Tell me only something Ben would know,” she watched as Klaus's eyes started darting around the apartment, and the hope she felt started shrinking, _burning up in a crisp_ , and she chugged the last of her tea, before reaching out and grabbing Klaus's hand. His eyes snapped to her, hope shining in them, and she didn’t have the heart to be mean to him, never had a bone in her body that wanted to hurt her siblings, knowing that _she was the failure in the family, worthless, disposable, fucked up number 7._

“Thank you, truly, but I'm tired and have to work early in the morning-” she didn’t, she figured lying to him would be better than breaking down in front of him, _again_ “-so I'm gonna go back to sleep, you're more than welcome to sleep on the couch though.” 

She stood up from the couch, mug in hand, and headed to the kitchen to put it in the sink before grabbing her bat and heading back into her bedroom, shutting and locking her door, putting the bat back in its previous position behind the door, before going to her nightstand and retrieving her knife she kept in the bottom drawer. She went and sat on the edge of her bed, contemplating if she wanted to do this, but when she heard the front door slam, she looked at her blurred reflection in the knife and watched as a single tear escaped.

She gave herself six new marks.

When Vanya was twenty-nine she had been managing on her own. After that night with Klaus five years ago, she ignored any attempts of communication from her siblings, just offering a random, “Hey, I’m alive” phone call or ‘got your text, I’m okay’. Her siblings didn’t seem to see anything wrong, as long as they knew she was alive they saw no need to check in on her more. 

It was on her way back from practice at the Icarus theater that she happened to see what was playing on the tv. 

She had never run so fast in her life.

When she reached the mansion gates and stepped inside them, she finally let herself take in much needed deep breaths of air. Once she caught her breath she shouldered her case, feeling somewhat like an idiot ‘ _what’s new’_ that she had almost forgotten it was with her in her mad dash over.

She jogged up the steps, reaching out to knock on the door, but before she could it was thrown open almost violently, and she flinched back at the glare Diego seemed to be leveling at her. When he realized who it was however his face softened slightly. He moved out of the way, letting her enter and talking to her as he did. 

“No one could get ahold of you, so I was about to come and get you.”

“Uh, I-I'm sorry, I was at practice and phones need to be off. I came over as quickly as I could when I saw the news.” 

She did not bring up why _he was glaring at having to pick her up._ She tried to shove the hurt, guilt, pain, _anguish,_ that was coursing through her veins, and despite her best efforts, the little voice that had been present since Five first left pounced upon her negative thoughts anyway.

‘ _He doesn’t care for you, none of them do. They would be happy if you were gone forever, you know they wished it had been you instead of number Six, at least he was useful, you're just plain, worthless, useless number Seven’._

Vanya simply dug her nails into one of her marks that were still healing, it brought her enough pain that the voice drifted away, no doubt coming back later with a vengeance that she would have to deal with.

  
  


Diego led her to the living room where all the other siblings were already gathered and the voice came back, quickly slithering through her brain before leaving just as quickly ‘ _just like always, you're the last one to join, probably forgotten._ She brushed the voice off, reminding it that they hadn’t forgotten her, Diego admitted they tried calling, it was _her_ that was the _issue,_ she was the one who pushed them away after all. She was startled out of her thoughts once she took in the _gigantic person, wholly hell_ that was standing in front of the couch where Allison and Klaus sat, and it took her a moment to realize that it was _Luther_.

She felt extremely guilty for not staying in touch more.

The funeral went about as well as any other Hargreeves family function did, Luther and Diego went at it like they were still school children, Allison scolded them, a mix of her pompous arrogance and mom voice blending together as she tried to stop them, Klaus was laughing hysterically at it all. Vanya went inside.

She traveled upstairs, walking down the hall before stopping in front of her old bedroom door, and she was surprised her room was still standing, she would’ve thought Klaus would’ve made good on his promise when they were fifteen and he threatened to tear down her wall and absorb her room into his, finally letting Reginald throw her out on the _street where she belonged like the worthless nobody she was._ (He almost did but was stopped by Grace who threatened to tie him up and watch him 24/7 until his withdrawals went away. He never thought of tearing down Vanya's room again.)

“Hello darling, your room is exactly how you left it. I make sure to dust from time to time, and I dusted recently, so if you want to stay, that’s fine.” 

Vanya turned to face her mom, still surprised at how _silently_ she moved. 

“Oh, uh, thanks, mom. I don’t want to impose on you though, so I’ll probably head out in a sec.”

She watched as her mom frowned, and for a robot, she seemed to pull off emotions better than Reginald ever did.

“Darling, this is still your home, and I am still your mother, no matter my status as an AI. You could never impose on me, honestly I wished you would ask for my help more.”

Vanya stood still, looking at her mom as tears sprung into her eyes, her mother’s words affecting her more than the voice _ever could._

“You know I remember when you were young, and when I was first introduced you seemed… scared of me, but when I started helping you speak russian, you came out of your shell without a second thought, simply wanting something that was _yours_. After that, you would cling to my skirt when the others were in training, or when one of them was picking on you. 

You are all my children, but my point is, you were my first child, despite being number seven, and I would very much appreciate it if my daughter spent the night so I could talk to her for the first time in ten years.”

By the end of her mother’s speech, Vanya had tears streaming down her face, and without a second thought, she launched herself at her, wrapping her arms around her neck and sobbing into her shoulder, while grace wrapped her arms around her, rubbing soothing circles on her back while shushing her like she did when Vanya was Five and suffering through nightmares.

The moment was broken however when Diego stomped around the corner, a scowl etched on his face and he barked out at her.

“Vanya, stop hogging mom, Luther needs her down in the infirmary.” 

Grace pulled back, smiling at her, and Vanya released her, using her hair to hide her face so Diego wouldn’t notice her bloodshot and puffy eyes, or the obvious tear tracks upon her face.

She watched as Grace turned to Diego, starting up a conversion with him as they headed to the infirmary to check on Luther. 

She waited a moment to make sure they were gone before turning and heading into her bedroom, pleased to see that the bed was made as she sat her violin case on it. She then went and sat down at her tiny desk, looking into the mirror that got replaced after she broke the first one all those years ago. Her hair was greasy and lanky, her face was pale and shallow, her eyes were puffy and bloodshot from her crying, that looked exaggerated with the deep purple like bruises under her eyes. Her blue button-down looked two sizes too big, swallowing her skinny frame easily. 

  
  


She got up, going to her violin case and opening it. She ran her fingers along the neck of the instrument, down to the block, then bridge, before stopping at the chin rest. Her hand lingered there a second before she moved on to where the bow rested, lifting it to get to one of her many trusty knives she kept on her. Most of her co-workers thought it was for protection, she didn’t correct them. She moved the case over, making room to sit down, then she drew her sleeve up as she held the knife between her teeth. Once she was ready she held the knife to the inside of her arm, just below her elbow, cutting a shallow line, only a few blood droplets rising to the surface, and she basked in the sting of pain, _the pain she could control_.

She did this seven times.

That night as she was in her room, avoiding mom after she told her she wasn’t hungry when she was informed dinner was ready and that she should instead hang out with everyone else as she was tired and wanted to catch up on sleep, Vanya flinched when her mother told her to rest well, the concern in her voice undeniable. 

She was currently reading all of Five’s notebooks that had been sitting in his bedroom, fascinated by the complex equations he wrote that would have most MIT professors crying. She was on notebook number two when she felt the house start to shake. Dropping the book on the bed she darted to her bedroom door, throwing it open and meeting up with Allison who was at the top of the stairs already. 

“Is this an earthquake?” At Allison's shrug Vanya got a little more worried, shouldn’t her siblings know these things?

She was pulled out of thoughts quite literally as Allison grabbed her wrist and dragged her downstairs. When they got down to the smaller kitchen where the boys already were, they weren’t prepared for the sight that awaited them.

A man no older than thirty-five in a crisp three-piece black suit carrying a suitcase stood in the middle of the kitchen, shit-eating grin on display. His hair was slicked back, but a few strands were loose, hanging in front of his face, and that’s when she noticed his eyes, _his eyes!_ Vanya would know those eyes anywhere, they haunted her for the last seventeen years. 

She broke the tense silence first.

“Fi-Five? I-is it really you?”

She ignored all the eyes that turned to her as she took a step forward, something she never did as a child, always being the good little ghost reginald wanted her to be. She waited for him to respond, and she ignored the ‘ _shng’_ as Diego grabbed a couple knives when the man set the suitcase on the ground, straightening up, he went and started pulling his left sleeve up, and before she saw the umbrella tattoo she knew, _she knew._

She took a couple steps forward before throwing herself at him, wrapping her arms around his waist as she buried her face in his chest, trying to hold back tears, not wanting to ruin his suit. She lost that battle however when five returned her embrace easily, one arm wrapping around her waist while the other gripped the back of her head, he was hunched over her, like he was trying to shield her from their siblings like he did when they were children. 

She cried silently at first, not wanting her siblings to witness her _being weak, pathetic, annoying cry-baby Number Seven._ But when five started whispering reassurances in her ear, she lost it, sobbing while babbling ‘you’re ba-back, yo-you’re real an-and _back’_ which just caused her to cry harder. 

After what felt like an eternity, but what she knew to be only a few minutes, her crying died down, only sniffling every few seconds, and she was glad he was wearing black as her tear stains weren’t so noticeable. She looked up into his face and upon seeing the same softness there as when they were children, she blushed, only now just realizing their positions, she had both her hands resting on his forearms, while Five’s hand that had been cupping her head had moved to settle on her waist, his other hand rested on her lower back. 

She ducked her head, letting her hair curtain her face yet again, before stepping back. Five let her go willingly, watching her like a predator would prey, as she once again drifted easily out of the spotlight, becoming just another memory to haunt the halls.

She watched as Luther cleared his throat and Five snapped his gaze over to him, hands glowing a faint blue as his shoulders tensed before he seemed to realize what the noise was. 

“So, uh, Five, where… where have you been?”

She tried not to snicker at everyone’s faces as Luther sounded like he was asking about the weather and _not where their missing brother of seventeen years had been._

She sobered up though as she watched Five’s face shut down, he reminded her of mom when she would sometimes struggle with human emotions, instead looking cool and calculated, _‘monsters’ the voice hissed,_ she crossed her arms, digging her nails into her right arm, the new cuts opening up, while she forced the voice away. She raised an eyebrow when five’s gaze darted over to her, seeming to catch the movement. He narrowed his eyes at her before returning to Luther's conversation.

“I ended up time traveling. The only problem is I fucked up, the equations got messed up, and I ended up...somewhere not good.-” she watched as Luther, Diego, and Allison frowned, the vague details bugging them, but they seemed willing to let him finish. “-and a group called the _‘Temps commission’_ found me. I was forced to work for them a bit, as they promised they would get me back to you guys, they however didn’t seem to realize that I have trust issues, so as I got on everyone’s good side, I investigated. It turns out, my boss, ‘The Handler’ was just fascinated by my power and the fact I didn’t need a suitcase-” everyone focused on the one by his feet as he kicked it, and Vanya so badly wanted to ask _what it did exactly,_ but she already had enough attention on her for the entire _year_ “-so I did what I do best, I wrote down equations and planned, I figured out who was behind the environment I traveled to. It turned out my boss had a daughter with world-ending powers, so I stole and stashed this suitcase, then went and assassinated the lady, before finally blowing up the building, killing anyone who survived. Any questions?”

Vanya in fact had _a lot of fucking questions_ , but she seemed to be in the same boat as her siblings, speechless as they absorbed Five’s story. 

It was Five who broke the silence this time, walking around the kitchen mumbling as he looked in all the cabinets, before exclaiming loudly, “shit! This place has thirty bedrooms, nineteen bathrooms, and no coffee?” he scoffed, spinning around, walking to the back door, and it was Allison who asked him.

“Wait, where are you going!”

“To get a decent cup of fucking coffee, I’m taking the car.”

As Vanya watched him stalk off, his eyes caught hers for a split second, mouth quirking up in a smirk, before he disappeared through the door.

Vanya’s face was beet red as she scurried back upstairs, terrified at the butterflies that erupted in her belly at Five’s expression.

The next day, she woke up early, relieving herself in the bathroom and brushing her teeth, before getting dressed and shouldering her violin, silently making her way downstairs. She wasn’t surprised none of siblings seemed to be up, she spotted Klaus sleeping in the living room, clad only in underwear on her way to the front door.

Upon reaching the front door, she stopped in front of it, feeling guilty about leaving her siblings and mom without a heads up and _‘making them worry, you aren’t worth worrying over Number Seven’_ , so she made a beeline for the kitchen, grabbing a piece of paper and pen on the way. 

She left a simple note of,

‘Sorry _to leave without saying a proper goodbye, but I have practice today, I'll see you guys around._

_P.s. I love you mom, thank you.’_

She looked at it for a second, before deciding it was good enough and setting it where her mom would at least see it, if not her siblings. She then went and headed for the side door in the kitchen, not wanting to use the front door now for fear of running into her siblings and having to explain herself like a five-year-old caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

She walked down the alley, reaching the sidewalk. She had barely moved more than four steps, deciding to walk to the theatre and get fresh air, when she heard someone yell out her name.

She _bolted_

No one at work remembered her name, simply calling her V, all her siblings were asleep and Reginald had _made damn sure she would never get any type of recognition,_ so she rightfully panicked upon hearing her name from a voice that _did not sound like any of her siblings!_ She didn’t stop running until she reached the theatre, quickly throwing open the doors and stepping inside, finally catching her breath. The receptionist, Kathy or was it Karen? Looked at her for a moment before going back to scrolling through her phone.

Vanya shrugged a little, heading to the stage where they were to practice that day.

* * *

  
  


Five came downstairs, large black coffee in hand as he headed to the kitchen to grab breakfast. Upon entering, he frowned, only counting four of his siblings. 

“So, where are Ben and Vanya?” He raised an eyebrow when all his siblings stiffened, looking more like statues than people. His gaze snapped to Allison when she broke the silence, 

“Five… Ben died when we were sixteen.” 

Five was shocked, but his time at the commission had him easily hiding it, his face a mask of cool indifference while the little thirteen-year-old boy in him cried, finally getting the validation when he couldn’t find his body among the ruins of the apocalypse. 

Instead, he focused on his Vanya, knowing she was alive as she had clung to him just the night before.

“So where’s Vanya then?” This time it was grace who answered, standing at the stove making pancakes and bacon.

“She left a note, it’s over there”, She pointed to a piece of paper resting on the counter, and Five walked over, reading the quick message while grace continued talking.

“I’m guessing she left before everyone woke up, while I was still charging.”

Five frowned, a little disappointed he didn’t get to see her this morning, but he reasoned that he had plenty of time to see her now, not having to worry about the commission or apocalypse. His beast seemed to calm down at that thought as well, his forty-plus years isolated making him depend on his instincts, and one specific instinct he had come to recognize as he got older, was that Vanya belonged to him.

**_She was his._ **

Not long after, grace had breakfast in front of them and they dug in, a disjointed chorus of thank you’s following. Grace beamed at them, before her smile dimmed a little, no doubt upset that Vanya wasn’t here. (Five personally had never seen grace as more than a glorified nanny AI, made for kids with powers so when they inevitably had a tantrum and tried abusing their powers, they would have no effect on Grace. However, he knows growing up that, while they would make fun of Diego being a ‘momma’s boy’, it was Vanya who always seemed to cling to Grace.)

_(He remembers one time going to visit Vanya after a particularly hard training day, but she wasn’t in her room even though he heard her playing on the violin, so he followed the noise like breadcrumbs through a maze, and when he reached the end he realized they were in the laundry room, Grace was folding clothes and swaying gently to Vanya’s violin, a smile on her face when Vanya finished, gentle congratulations for finally getting a hang of the song, falling from her mouth. Five had left before they noticed him, not wanting to ruin Vanya’s time with Grace)._

  
  


Once he finished eating he thanked Grace one more time, before leaving the kitchen in a flash of blue, reappearing outside of a Starbucks. He ordered a large black coffee, ignoring the digits scribbled hastily on his cup upon receiving it, simply taking a sip before leaving, not acknowledging anyone who wasn’t Vanya ('or family, I guess'). He walked around the city a bit, enjoying the cool breeze and sunshine, a reprieve to his battered soul that grew up with burning heat and the taste of ash on his tongue as he ate cockroaches. 

After thirty minutes of walking, he jumped back to the house, not knowing where Vanya _actually_ worked. There were a few theatres in the area, but he didn’t feel like wasting too much energy on those jumps, each a fair distance away from each other. He appeared in the foyer, scaring Diego, who jumped when he asked

“So which theatre does Vanya work at?” 

He smirked at Diego when he scowled at him, knife clutched in hand like he was about to throw it. Five wanted to gloat that he had never been able to touch him as children, and that he now had _years_ as an assassin under his repertoire as well, Diego would be on the floor dead before he could even release his weapon. 

Good thing he actually cared for his siblings ( _mostly)_.

“I don’t know, she doesn’t keep in touch. She just sends a few messages to us and sometimes phone calls consisting of ‘I’m still alive, hope you guys are doing well, miss you guys, bye.’,” upon seeing Five’s scowl he hastily tacked on, “try asking Allison? I heard her talking to Luther that she and Vanya talk a decent amount on the phone, maybe Vanya told her where she worked?” 

Five huffed before going to track down Allison.

“Sorry, I don’t know where she works. Actually… I don't know a lot about Vanya, every time we talk she gives the usual ‘I’m alive and well, how is everything going with Claire and Patrick?’ I never paid much attention to it.”

Five could feel his blood boiling. Did all his siblings just forget about Vanya unless they needed something? He took in a deep breath, knowing that murdering his family _would not actually make him feel better._

Allison seemed to sense his anger as she told him, “Klaus knows where she lives, if you want to wait at her apartment for her, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.” 

Five was already down the hall, walking to Klaus's room before she even finished her sentence.

He banged on Klaus's door, the only room in the house he wouldn’t teleport in, (he did once when he was twelve, he couldn’t stop blushing whenever he saw a banana for a week). After a couple seconds the door swung open, and Klaus leaned against the door frame with his hair in disarray, his eyes bloodshot and wide, shirt rumpled, jeans unbuttoned, and only wearing one shoe. 

Five regretted coming to him already.

“Little brother! What can I do for you today? Need fashion advice? Or maybe sex advice? I remember when you couldn’t look at a banana without blushing.”

Five gritted his teeth, hoping the redness on his ears wasn’t noticeable, before he ground out through his clenched jaw,

“I was told you know where Vanya lives, Could you give me the address?” He was confused at Klaus's attitude change after he asked, doing a complete 180 as he straightened up from his slouch, eyes focusing on him with a little more clarity. 

  
  


“First I have to tell you something, but promise you won’t get mad at Vanya.” Five’s brow wrinkled in confusion upon hearing that, he could _never_ be mad at Vanya, sure he might of gotten annoyed at her a few times as children, usually it was when she was crying though, as he firstly, didn’t know how to deal with crying girls, and secondly, didn’t like to see Vanya upset, he just had a hard time articulating that thought as a child, instead words that were supposed to be comforting coming out like orders.

He nodded at Klaus nonetheless, signaling for him to continue, because he _would like to see Vanya sometime today._ He watched Klaus take a deep breath, eyes darting over to his side for a minute, before nodding and turning to face five. 

  
  


Five wondered who’s ghost he was seeing.

“I found out when I was twenty-four that two years after you had been gone, Ben and Vanya became a thing. It turned out that while I had started to go out more, Ben had pulled away, instead hanging out with Vanya, while Diego was left to help me. He would go downstairs with her as she made two peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches, one for her and one for you. They would hang out in the library during designated free time, laughing over certain authors or books they read that they thought were ridiculous.”

He felt his blood run cold by the time Klaus finished speaking, understanding Klaus's mannerisms before he spoke, now. He felt a lump rising in his throat, he swallowed it, dreading to ask but wanting to know the answer.

“Does Vanya know that Ben follows you?”

Klaus seemed shocked for a moment, and he wondered why, before Klaus spoke again, breaking him out of his idle thought.

“I told her once, when we were twenty-four, I had gotten into an argument with ben about… about love. I told him he couldn’t judge my decisions as he had never got the chance to be in love. He ended up blurting out his relationship with Vanya during his angry outburst. I went to her apartment to tell her, she didn’t believe me, but she didn’t tell me that, just said ‘thank you’. I think she thought I was just trying to give her closure.”

Five wasn’t surprised hearing that, even as kids, Vanya never had a bone in her body that wanted to hurt her siblings, always apologizing for the tiniest microaggressions against her siblings, imagined or otherwise.

“Anyway, I’ll write down her address. Give me a sec,” five watched from the doorway as Klaus moved around the room, throwing things up in the air, no doubt in a mad dash to find a piece of paper and pen to write with. Finally, after a minute of watching him be a human tornado, he let out a triumphant cry of “Aha!” before scribbling like a madman on the piece of paper.

He walked back over to Five, the piece of paper folded up, his serious expression gone, now replaced with a shit-eating grin, “now remember Five, don’t do what I wouldn’t do, and consent is key!”

Five couldn’t stop his blush this time, asking Klaus, “Is it that _obvious?”_

Klaus seemed to sober up a little at that, expression going thoughtful before he answered his question.

“No, honestly the only reason how I could tell was because I have practice at reading people Five. You’ve always been the most logical one in this house. I’m the opposite, I'm good at reading people, _emotions._ Having ghost’s around you all your life does that to you apparently.”

Five nodded, the explanation making him feel a bit better. 

“Thanks Klaus” and with that he disappeared in a flash of blue, appearing in his room, the piece of paper containing Vanya's address balled in his hand. He wanted to rant at the information dumped on him. Now he wasn’t angry at Vanya, not at all no, who he was mad at was _himself_ , if he _never left,_ maybe Vanya wouldn’t have had to suffer that type of loss at a young age, first him, then Ben. He needed time to cool down though, fearing that his anger might come out and Vanya would take it personally, just like when they were kids and she would flinch and hide behind her hair.

He decided to visit her tomorrow.

Five was up at dawn, he used the bathroom before getting dressed and jumping to a store that was open, grabbing a french press and a couple containers of good coffee. By the time the rest of the siblings came down for breakfast he was already on cup number three, writing in an empty notebook he had found under his bed.

Klaus pulled out a chair, sitting next to him.

“So how is Vanya doing little brother? Did you get to _play her violin_ , wind up her strings, draw her tau-oomph.”

Everyone turned to look at Klaus as he sprawled on the floor, while Five’s expression was deadpan as he continued writing in his notebook, not revealing the fact he had just swept Klaus' chair with his foot, knocking him over to get him to shut up.

“I didn’t go see her yesterday, I had some equations I wanted to work on.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Klaus narrow his eyes, mouth opening to no doubt call him on his bullshit, when the front door was thrown open almost violently, a rough and battered-looking Vanya stumbling in.

Five was before her in an instant, letting her lean on him as he closed the front door. He was distantly aware of all the other siblings rushing to check on her, their protective instincts roaring to life at the sight of their littlest sibling stumbling in the house, looking like she just came home from a bar brawl. He was too focused on her though, on how _tiny she was,_ how she _practically weighed nothing_ when he picked her up bridal style, carrying her to the infirmary while barking at his siblings to get grace.

He entered, setting her on the bed, finally taking in her appearance. Her hair was a mess, some dirt clinging to it, she had a black eye and busted lip, her shirt was ripped up, exposing some of her abdomen which had a variety of bruises, coloring from dark purple to bright red. He was alarmed to notice that he could see her ribs though, starting to protrude in an unhealthy way. Her jeans seemed to be untouched, but he noticed the zipper seemed to be missing and the button undone. 

He swallowed the bile rising when his mind started piecing together the picture his Vanya's condition presented.

He was brought out of his _‘guilt, if you visited her maybe this wouldn’t have happened, I thought she was ‘yours’_ ’ thoughts when Grace entered, eyes glassy as she took in the state of her daughter, before she went into professional mode, telling Five to leave and grab Allison so she could help. 

He left the infirmary, his siblings in different states of standing and sitting, Luther was standing against the wall his ‘I’m number one so I can’t lose face’ mask firmly on, (Five actually appreciated his calm demeanor, no matter how forced it was, it helped him put his own mask of cool indifference on.) Diego was pacing, twirling a knife between his hands, a sure sign he was stressed as he never threw them in the air if he was too distracted by his thoughts or emotions. Allison was standing by Luther, tears streaming down her face even as her face remained impassive. Klaus was sitting in a chair by the doors to the infirmary, head in his hands as he mumbled ‘to himself’. 

“Allison, Grace wants you in there to help her. We’ll stay here for updates.” 

He watched as Allison wiped her tears, her expression hardening before she marched in, shutting the door behind her.

Five sat down on the floor next to Klaus's chair, not wanting to sit on Ben, who he was one hundred and fifty percent certain, was sitting in the only other chair next to the one Klaus was sitting in. He leaned in closer to Klaus, voice low enough only he could hear.

“Tell him I’m sorry, and that I’m never letting her out of my sight again.”

The whole time he looked straight ahead, not wanting to see the expression on Klaus’s face, so he startled a little when he felt a hand land on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze before letting go. He felt a little tension leave him at the action, but with Klaus's next words, he felt like he could breathe again.

“He’s holding you to that promise, you know. He knew that even though Vanya loved-loves him still, you never left her heart. Just don’t break it again, okay”. 

Thirty minutes later, Grace and Allison finally exited the infirmary, Allison walking straight to Luther, before wrapping her arms around his abdomen, sobbing softly into his chest. They immediately tensed, Allison not usually one to give into tears. They turned to Grace, who stood unnaturally still, her face for once not trying to imitate human emotions, looking like the AI she was instead.

“Vanya will pull through, she’s resting right now, however she is not allowed to be left alone, _at all.”_

This surprised the brothers, as Grace always told them to leave the other’s alone if they ended up in the infirmary, saying they needed rest and not to disturb them. Of course, they didn’t voice their confusion, just gave agreements. 

It was Klaus who then asked the question they dreaded to ask.

“Can you tell us about her injuries? It might help so we don’t...spook her, when she wakes up.” Five watched as for the first time an emotion appeared on Grace's face, and he had no doubt that if Grace could cry she would be.

“Vanya seemed to have been attacked and then sexually assaulted,” Five saw red upon having his assumption proven correct, wanting to hunt down the bastard who _dared sully his Vanya_ , he was brought out of his murderous thoughts upon Grace speaking, however, wanting to see what else she had to say.

“However, when Allison and I went to wash her up, we saw that both her arms and legs were littered with cuts, both old and new, she also had a few old burn marks, and she’s extremely emaciated, as well as dehydrated. It’s honestly a miracle she was able to run here in her condition”.

Five distantly heard his siblings' reactions, but it’s like they were underwater, Grace's words roaring in his head on repeat, ‘ _cuts, old and new...extremely emaciated...burn marks...cuts, cuts, cuts!’_ His head shot up as he recalled the night he came back, when Vanya had gone to sit in the corner after crying into his chest, no doubt embarrassed at having her sibling’s attention on her. He remembered when she had crossed her arms, nails digging in her arm _a little too tight_ , and he thought he had seen a little blood stain, but Vanya's hand had seemed to unconsciously cover it, and he had forgotten about it after that, after all she _seemed_ like she was doing okay, maybe a little more shy and reserved, but he figured that was a by-product of Reginald's particular brand of upbringing for her, which seemed to entail isolation. 

He _assumed_ she was still his _timid, little Vanya_ , simply not liking too much attention.

  
  


He got up from the ground, snapping at no one in particular as he walked to the infirmary door, “I’ll be taking first watch, you idiots figure out a schedule with mom.” And it wasn’t until he was inside and leaning against the now closed door, that he realized he had called grace mom. He figured he owed it to her though, always trying her hardest despite AI status.

Five walked to the only chair by the bed, and once he was seated he took in Vanya's appearance again. It seemed either Allison and Grace had brushed her hair, no longer tangled and not as much dirt was noticeable, her left eye was swollen, but with them both closed she looked like she was sleeping peacefully, they changed her into a generic hospital gown that they had on hand for emergencies, it’s lack of sleeves allowing for him to see a few small burn marks and the multitude of scars running up in down her arms, ranging from small little nicks to almost two inches long, none too wide though wide. She had an IV in her right arm, he let his eyes trace from where the needle was resting in her arm, up to the bag of fluids that was hanging from the pump. 

Never once did he take his eyes off of her, even when grace entered with a sandwich for him, letting him know it was lunchtime, and if he was getting tired, to simply ring the bell on the wall. She would alert Diego, who had the next watch. 

Apparently they actually made a _chart_ that was _hanging on the refrigerator in the kitchen._

He wanted to scoff at their childishness.

A few hours after he finished the sandwich, he was still looking at Vanya, mind going through different plans to help her, when he noticed her right eye start to flutter open, and he leaned forward, grabbing her hand and squeezing it. That seemed to wake her as she groaned a little, and he watched as she moved her head, taking in her surroundings, tensing up once she realized where she was. 

She turned her face in his direction, eye taking in her bare arms before meeting his gaze, and he wanted to cry at the pain, _fear, and guilt,_ shiningg in her right eye. When she started crying he was quick to gently wrap her in a hug, careful not to jostle her IV or apply too much pressure and freak her out. He was relieved when she hesitantly hugged him back, sobbing into his neck. 

He held her as she cried, rubbing her back and humming under a song he remembered she played a lot on the violin as a kid, hoping it would calm her down. It apparently seemed to work as her crying died down into little sniffles. She went to pull back, and he loosened his hold a little, but made sure not to release her completely, the touch grounding him just as much as her, _that she was here, she was alive!_

He gazed at her, watching as she avoided looking at his face, instead opting to talk at his chest.

He couldn't blame her, that it was easier to talk about this not having to look at him head-on.

“I-I’m sorry,” he frowned, she had no reason to apologize, and he said as much. 

“Vanya, don’t apologize. We, _I_ , should be the one apologizing. Nobody noticing you suffering all alone, noticed you were drowning.”

“Five, you weren’t here. You can’t blame yourself for something you _couldn’t notice_.”

“That’s what I mean though! If I never was an arrogant little shit who thought he was ready for time travel you never would’ve suffered! I would’ve gotten to tell you when we were teenagers that I love you, that I don’t care if there are a shit ton of other women out there, that if they aren’t you, I have no interest in them, because _I love you Vanya!_ ” 

By the end of his speech, Five was huffing, ears burning red after accidentally blurting that out, but he wasn’t finished, so he made sure his voice was softer, before continuing

“Yesterday Klaus gave me your address so I could visit you, however he also told me of your relationship with Ben when you were teenagers. I got angry, so I decided to wait till today to visit.”

He closed his eyes when Vanya flinched away from him, thinking that she was afraid of him now, he was proven wrong however when she spoke next, horrified as he started realizing how Vanya's mind seemed to be whispering poisonous words where no else could hear them.

“I’m sorry, I understand if you hate me now. I understand if everyone else hates me too, I’m _nothing_ , and I'm making you guys worry about me. I’ll leave-”

“NO!” 

Vanya seemed shocked at his outburst, and he took a deep breath, before continuing in a gentler voice.

“Vanya, I was angry at _myself,_ I'm _happy_ that you and Ben both were happy together. Also, everyone else _does not hate you_ , you aren’t just anything, _you’re Vanya_ , and we all love you for that. And if you even think about leaving this bed I’ll notify grace and have her tie you to the bed”.

By the end, she was crying into his chest for a different reason.

* * *

  
  


The first month after Vanya was released from the infirmary was the hardest on everyone, she was forced to sell her apartment, moving back into the mansion. Grace had looked over her things, confiscating any sharp objects that could be used to hurt herself. She also was not allowed to eat without someone present, though Grace made sure to start her off with small portions of oatmeal, soups, salads, and fruits. Her siblings would hang out with her, having gotten the heavy conversations out of the way when she was still in the infirmary and couldn’t escape, so they were descent about not patronizing her...too much, Luther struggled the most though, not trying to be mean, just oblivious to some of his remarks that could be interpreted as callous.

They all had a day they would hang out with her.

Monday’s she would hang out with Luther, bonding over their shared love of 80’s pop songs while he explained different airplane models, or taking day trips to different space museums. (she found out he made terrible space puns that had her doubling over, clutching her stomach as she laughed. His face lighting up at her laughter was the best part of his day.)

Tuesday’s she got Diego, and at first they would spend it in awkward silence, until Vanya remembered the music Diego liked, so she offered to play a song for him on her violin, not telling him the song to surprise him, and despite his obvious desire to say no, he said yes, realizing that he did need to make more an effort to not come off so brusque when talking to her. 

She led him to the music room, grabbing her violin from her room on the way there. Once they arrived Diego went and sat on one of the many chairs present, watching as she fiddled with the violin for a second before placing it on her shoulder. (She watched his face light up when she played the first chords of _Back in Black_ , before jumping up to grab the electric guitar in the corner of the room, quickly plugging it into the speakers before joining her.(Her favorite was when he brought his acoustic guitar the next week, playing her a few covers of songs and twirling her around the music room, both of them dancing to MCR's black parade album).

Wednesday's she would hang out with Allison or Five, depending if Allison was visiting Claire for that week or not. The would make a day of grabbing coffee in the morning while they walked through the park, talking about how they were and how sometimes Allison feared she was becoming stupid with so much testosterone in the house, (Vanya was delighted and couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped out when Allison spat out her coffee, after she told her with a deadpan expression and monotone voice “Honestly I think the boys could learn who really wears the pants in the house. You obviously are the daddy of the house now.” When she went to take a sip of coffee, however, Allison smirked at her, a snarky reply falling from her lips that had her almost choking, “You sure about that?, I thought Five was your ‘daddy’”. Allison laughed at her deer in headlights expression, and it wasn’t before long they were both laughing at each other.) They would go shopping afterwards, Allison helping find clothes that Vanya liked but in sizes much more fitting to her frame, they also picked out some makeup, in neutral colors as Allison told her she didn’t need much with her complexion. 

Thursday’s she hung out with Klaus. They both had therapy they would attend together as each other’s mutual support. Klaus would talk about his drug addiction, and how it was because of Vanya he wanted to get clean (He also had been able to manifest Ben, all three sobbed in a group hug, her apologizing for not believing him when they were twenty-four). She would talk about not ever feeling like she was enough, and coming to these therapy sessions with her brother helped her understand they both had an addiction, both running away from their problems instead of facing them _until now._ When they would get home they would decompress with mugs of hot tea and a little snack, before Klaus would dress her up and teach her simple ways to apply eyeshadow and blush, making her eyes pop and enhancing her natural blush. 

Friday’s she hung out with Five, catching up on all they missed in their years apart. Sometimes they would lounge in the library, Five sitting on the couch while Vanya laid sprawled out with her head in his lap, book balanced on her chest as she would read out loud. Sometimes she would fall asleep as Five would start gently running his hand through her hair, other times she would hiss out ‘ _Bed. Now.’_ if his grip got tight, not hurting her but to let her know that while he wanted to hear her voice, it was not to hear her read russian literature. 

(Five had been careful with her their first time, kissing all her scars, murmuring how beautiful she was for fighting, that she would always be beautiful to him, to never hide from him because she was _his and she was perfect_ , she was crying at how her heart swelled with affection, how _loved she felt._ She was quick to reciprocate, telling him how much she loved him, that she trusted him implicitly, that she _knew him, mind, body, and soul._ That she was the same, she could never bring herself to _hurt him_ , that at times it felt like they _were already one, sharing a mind, body, and soul.)_

She doesn’t think she had felt that whole and complete even as a child. 

Sometimes she would play violin with Five accompanying her on the piano, or other times it would be like they were kids again as he wrote on his walls as she played, except this time she would chip in, now understanding some of his work after reading his notebooks. He drove her to work and back, never letting her go to work alone again, (she found out later after watching the news about the death of a local woodworker worker that he had asked the receptionist if she saw anyone that looked suspicious the day Vanya was attacked, she never asked if Five did it, simply enjoying the feeling of being with someone who kept _her safe and happy)._

Saturday’s she spent with mom, helping cook breakfast for everyone in the morning and helping clean up, she would play her violin while mom folded laundry, or they would talk in russian about how their week went. After lunch, she would let mom give her a check-up in the infirmary. She had started gaining a bit of weight, still skinny, but no longer were her ribs showing, and her scars weren’t as noticeable, mom putting a salve on them that helped them. They would never go away, but they were less raised and puffy looking.

Sundays were family days, they would hang out in the mansion, mainly because it was hard to explain the fucking _glowing blue_ person with them, as Klaus stayed clean and practiced, had an easier time manifesting Ben without breaking a sweat. Sometimes Diego, Five, and her would play something for the family, laughing as Klaus pulled Luther into a dance, while Ben twirled Allison across the floor. Sometimes they would simply put on pop hit bop’s, dancing with each other. (Allison and her have a photo mom had taken of Diego and Luther waltzing together, no doubt some type of bet from Klaus.) Sometimes mom would join in, and they would step back as she and Diego would do all types of dances, salsa, swing, ballroom, the waltz, etc; other times she would simply grab one of them, twirling them into another partner, content to see her children happy.

  
  
  


A few months later Vanya had been allowed to have a few hours to herself, the siblings knowing that if she was having a bad day, she would come to one of them or mom. As she was walking back to the mansion a sign happened to catch her eye, and after thinking for a minute, she entered the parlor.

She visited the shop next door when she was done.

When she got home all the siblings were in the living room, deep into a debate over whether letting Allison help Diego and Luther with fashion was necessary. It was Ben who spotted her first, waving at her, before going slack-jawed at her appearance. His expression was enough to tip the siblings that something was wrong, so they turned to her, all of them going into shock at her appearance as well.

It was Allison who snapped out of her shock, running over to Vanya.

“Vanya?! What did you do to your hair?!” At her hurt look Allison backpedaled, not actually upset with her, “I mean a bob suits you, and the streaks of bluish-white goes with your complexion nicely”. At her timid smile, all her brother’s chimed in, finally over their shock.

“Nice look Vanny! Hmm, maybe we could all get highlights next family bonding day.”

“It suits you Vanya, you look good.”

“With your look, we could start a rock band that does covers, you're okay with wearing black leather, right?”

“You look really pretty Vanya.”

“Hmm, I’m gonna miss having more hair to grab when we-”

“FIVE!” 

He shrugged as all his siblings glared at him, he wasn’t ashamed or embarrassed talking about his and Vanya’s sex life, (It was actually funny to see who it would affect more, usually Luther walked out first, happy for his sibling, but not wanting ' _to hear the details Five!'_ Klaus was usually the last one, Five found not much could get him to budge, until he started unbuttoning his shirt while Vanya had been sitting on his lap, not minding voyeurism _when it was anyone else!)._

He did however tell Vanya that her haircut suited her wonderfully.

Her beaming smile made all the siblings feel like they were watching the sun come out after hiding behind the clouds for years.

They watched as she tugged up her shirt sleeve next, and they all tensed when they saw the bandage wrapped around her wrist, and she was quick to reassure them.

“Guys, it’s okay. I, uh, I got something else besides a haircut while I was out.” She started unwrapping the bandages, and they were curious now that they knew she hadn’t gotten hurt, or hurt herself. 

When the bandages were in a pile all the brothers came over, wanting to see what she had gotten. 

Around her wrist was a tattoo of an infinity symbol pattern, looking like a bracelet, and in each symbol, had numbers. There was 1 and 7, 2 and 7, 3 and 7, 4 and 7, 5 and 7(here there was a tiny heart in the middle of the infinity symbol between the numbers), and 6 and 7, each of their numbers in a different color, and from the bracelet like design were vines twisting around her arm, and filled between them were different colored roses, each matching the color of their number.

They were broken out of there staring by Vanya starting to explain.

“I’ve been trying not to get self-conscious with my scars, but it’s… it’s a struggle somedays not to simply say ‘fuck it’ and just disappear. But while I was out for a walk I saw both parlors allowed walk-ins and I figured I could do something about my self-consciousness. So I got a tattoo that would remind me I’m not alone when I start slipping or am having a bad day and you guys are busy.”

She shyly pulled on her sleeve, still getting used to saying so much under the eyes of her siblings. However when she was wrapped up in a group hug, Five basically blanketing her body with his, as she heard Klaus let out a grunt as he tried to fight Five for the position to hug her, as she felt a phantom tentacle gently brush along her hair, as she smelled Allison’s perfume that had hints of vanilla and lavender, as she felt the leather of Diego’s outfit brushing against her, and the shadow of Luther easily wrapping them all in a hug she knew she didn’t need to worry.

Just like how her tattoo wrapped around her wrist, she was wrapped in her family’s love.

**Author's Note:**

> That's the tattoo design vanya got, the art done by Sache-Chan as well. Thank you so much, again for this! 😘
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed it.


End file.
